Emotional battles to be fought.

Today I find myself sitting at home. Doing nothing. Well, not really nothing. Hurting. I'm in pain. The last couple of days in the gym have produced a aching pain in my body. I have been doing good to avoid this up until now. But it's here. And I must say it HURTS.

Not only that I don't have a job. No money means no fun. I spend a lot of my days sitting here. Looking at Facebook, with all my friends who are going to work, shopping, having kids, buying houses. It makes me think "what am I doing?"

Pain always brings out so many emotions for me. Mostly feelings of failure. I mean look at me. I'm 27 living with my parents, no job, no money, not even a love interest. I'm not good at dealing with feelings, or pain for that matter.

For a long time I would bottle it in. Or shove it down with food. Most of the time it was food. I would give myself to the carnal glutenous feeling of filling myself with junk that wasn't sustainable for much more than an hour then start all over again. It was my drug. My kryptonite. I had to have it and couldn't live without it. Until one day even that didn't satisfy me. It was low. Really low.

That is why I made this change.

So as I'm sitting her wallowing in my self pity I see this.



I literally wanted to cry. I promise you 100 lbs DIDN'T come off in a week. It took a lot of blood, sweat, and tears for one year and a month to get it off. However, I can't be sad or upset about they way my life is going because it is GREAT! Yeah, I don't have a job, money, or a boyfriend. But I am growing everyday. I'm learning that I am very competitive. I like to push myself. I like to sweat when I work out or it doesn't feel like I have done anything.lol I can be really nice and I love my family. Even better is that I have a GREAT network of friends and church family that are soooooo supportive. Literally, when I leave church I want to cry at all the people that stop to tell me what a great job I am doing. Even people I don't talk to much are so supportive. All of that matters.

So now I will go and cook a lovely lunch for my family to enjoy and clean the kitchen. Because this is my life now. I may as well enjoy it while I can. Try a new recipe and drive my mom insane for  making her try new things. If I could just get her out of the "Dipped, smothered, covered" state of mind ;)

Today I will take to running on the treadmill again. Why? Because I can. And last year this time I couldn't. Welcome to 2013 and the new and improved Shaniqua.

Happy Battling the bulge!!

Shaniqua

New Year brings new challenges

Well, a new year has come. I'm really excited for all that this year will bring! So many possibilities.

2012 year was a great year. I had said that my motto was work hard, play hard. Well "play hard" didn't really work because for half the year I was adjusting to a new body. But I did "work hard". I was going to post some pictures from last year on here yesterday but that didn't happen. Maybe next time ;)

If you don't know yet, I have reached the 100 lb mark. Since the surgery I have lost 75 lbs. Let me tell you I feel awesome!!! Yesterday I hit the gym and actually was on the treadmill and walked/ran 2 miles! That is a big accomplishment because I usually never go over a mile and this time I pushed myself to do two. Not only that but I RAN. Yesterday wasn't the first time I ran but when I did I felt like a million bucks! And I completely understand when people say they love to run. I really believe I am getting to that point now.lol

Here is a nice comparison picture for ya!

Can you see the difference?lol And the one on the left isn't even my heaviest!

Right look: Peplum Shirt and Pleated skirt -Avenue/ Undershirt- Avon/ Black suede wedges- DSW

Another thing that you may not know about me is I don't like to make resolutions for the new year. I think that they are good intentions that never pan out. But there are some things I would like to see happen in this new year. So here is my top 5.

1. Read the Bible the whole way through- This is pretty self- explanatory  It is something that I have wanted to do for a while so this year I am going to make it happen! :)

2. Loose 50 lbs by May 1, 2012- Actually this is a challenge that a friend of mine brought up. Something to give myself something to look forward to. So here it is. If i loose the 50 by the date then you all donate $5 for me to get some more clothes! If you want to give more you can when the time comes. But for now I will keep you updated on my progress! I think this is an obtainable goal because I did loose 75 lbs in 5 months. If you are up for the challenge comment on this post that you're in! Just make sure you leave your name so I'll know who all my sponsors are ;)

3. Run an eBay shop- Many of you have seen that I am trying my hand at selling somethings on eBay. I have a TON of clothes that are too big and I figured that while I'm loosing weight I could make some money as well! If you wish to contribute send me an email and we'll discuss it.

4. Move out- OMG! I have been trying to do this for the last 5 years! I really believe that this year will be the year. I am going to make it happen.

5. Travel by plane to a destination- I'm not sure if I want this to be for fun or to a church conference. I have never traveled by plane anywhere and I want to really bad! I just want to have a vacation of any kind.lol

So that is what I want to see happen in 2013. What are your desires for this new year?

Happy New Year Lovies!

Shaniqua

Inspiration Tuesday- The Beehive

Hello Lovies!!

So today we're looking at hair! I have been looking all over for a way to do a Beehive that is young and youthful. I don't want to look like the precious older sisters at my church after all. I mean I do love them but still...

So today's Inspiration comes from Rachel McAdam's Instyle Cover shoot. I originally came across this pin.

It was love at first sight. I mean it's high and messy but neat and it has a front swoop! Totally me!! Plus, I fell in love with the old Hollywood glam of the whole look. Can you say CHA-CHING?!?! So of course I had to investigate to find how the back looks and I came across several other photos.

But none of the back :(

And there are some more. But in the other photos it looks like they just put her hair up and let it fall as it willed as the day went on. Didn't really like that idea. But I do love Rachael. But I'm thinking that a good french twist in the back will work. So I'm gonna get my teasing comb and hairspray and get to practicing! Hopefully I'll have photos soon of the result.

Peace, Love and Happy Styling,

Shaniqua

Got 99 Problems and this quiz ain't one of them ;)

Today was supposed to be my weigh- in day. But I got up, left my house and when I got to my destination I remembered I didn't weigh. We'll try again for tomorrow. When that happens you will get an update on all that is going on in my Weight- loss world :)

So I saw these questions on another blog MONTHS ago and I was going to answer them but they have been sitting as a draft for a long time. So here goes. See how many answers you think are predictable.


1: Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? Closed. Seriously I will get out of bed and close one if I have to. Anywhere anytime.
2: Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel? No. My hair is too precious.
3: Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out? Both. But mostly tucked because I lay on my tummy with my toes hanging off the foot and if it is untucked my toes get cold and I can't sleep that way.lol
4: Have you ever stolen a street sign before? Uhhh. NO. Really. ??
5: Do you like to use post-it notes? LOVE THEM.
6: Do you cut out coupons but then never use them? haha! Yes.
7: Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees? Ummm... I think bees. A bear might kill you if he's angry enough. I want to live :)
8: Do you have freckles? A few
9: Do you always smile for pictures? Yes, though there are different smiles.
10: What is your biggest pet peeve? I'll get back to you on that...
11: Do you ever count your steps when you walk? pshhh.. Negative.

My sentiments EXACTLY!lol

12: Have you ever peed in the woods? haha. Of course... If you have been camping...
13: What about pooped in the woods? How is that possible? No.
14: Do you ever dance even if there's no music playing? haha! Yeah. All the time. When it's in your head you got to get the grove out.
15: Do you chew your pens and pencils? OMG Yes! It was really bad in school. Now. Not so much.
16: How many people have you slept with this week? Uhhh... None
17: What size is your bed? A Wueen I mean Queen.lol
18: What is your Song of the week? Diamonds/ Rhianna
19: Is it okay for guys to wear pink? Depends on the guy.
20: Do you still watch cartoons? No
21: Whats your least favorite movie? Don't have one.
22: Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some? It would be hidden if I told you then would it? The secret would be out and I'd have to find somewhere else to hide it. LAME. Again see the above photo.
23: What do you drink with dinner? Actually nothing. I can't drink anything 30 mins before/ after meals. But I drink mostly water now.
24: What do you dip a chicken nugget in? RANCH!
25: What is your favorite food? Now? Chicken. Any kind.
26: What movies could you watch over and over and still love? hmmm... The Notebook. Cry everytime.
27: Last person you kissed/kissed you? Never been kissed :(
28: Were you ever a boy/girl scout? Yes for like 1 year.
29: Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine? No. Not my style.
30: When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? Oh wow. Lemme see... I was passing notes with a friend in church back in September. Does that count?
31: Can you change the oil on a car? haha! No. That's what I have my Dad and Wal-Mart Auto center for.lol jk Love my daddy :)
32: Ever gotten a speeding ticket? haha. Have you seen me drive?
33: Ever ran out of gas? Yeah
34: Favorite kind of sandwich? Turkey and Bacon w/ lettuce, onion, banana peppers, mayo and black pepper.
35: Best thing to eat for breakfast? Food. Generally high in fiber.
36: What is your usual bedtime? Now 2 am.
37: Are you lazy? Depends on the situation.
38: When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween? Ummm... I was a witch one year but the makeup scared me so we had to take it off. Other than that. I don't think I was anything.
39: What is your Chinese astrological sign? Pisces
40: How many languages can you speak? 1- English
41: Do you have any magazine subscriptions? No
42: Which are better legos or lincoln logs? CLEARLY no contest. Legos
43: Are you stubborn? Ask Mom. idk.
44: Who is better...Leno or Letterman? ummm. I don't watch either.
45: Ever watch soap operas? No
46: Are you afraid of heights? Yes
47: Do you sing in the car? haha! Yes. One time I was so into this song a guy waved at me. Actually that happens all the time.
48: Do you sing in the shower? Yeah
49: Do you dance in the car? Yeah. I think that's why the dude waved. I was all hand motions and everything. He might have thought I was waving at him.
50: Ever used a gun? No
51: Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? Um.... Graduation from college. May 2012
52: Do you think musicals are cheesy? No
53: Is Christmas stressful? Yes
54: Ever eat a pierogi? What is that?
55: Favorite type of fruit pie? Apple with Ice cream. No cool whip crap. If you're gonna do it, do it first class!!
56: Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? Ummm... Singer
57: Do you believe in ghosts? Yes. The Holy Ghost. Can I get a AMEN?!
58: Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? Too much
59: Take a vitamin daily? Yes I have to since the surgery
60: Wear slippers? Yes. The hardwood is cold!
61: Wear a bath robe? No
62: What do you wear to bed? None of your business.
63: First concert? NA
64: Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? WALLY WORLD BABY!!
65: Nike or Adidas? Nike
66: Cheetos Or Fritos? Fritos
67: Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? Nuts
68: Ever hear of the group Tres Bien? Ummm.. No
69: Ever take dance lessons? Yes when I was little
70: Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? Ummm... Anything with him wearing a suit and tie. LOVE a man in a tailored suit and tie.
71: Can you curl your tongue? No
72: Ever won a spelling bee? No
73: Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Yes. Too many times.smh
74: Own any record albums? No
75: Own a record player? No
76: Regularly burn incense? No. Actually that's the thing. I don't like them because they make your house smell all smoky. So what's the point?
77: Ever been in love? I thought I was. Turns out... Nope.
78: Who would you like to see in concert? Honestly? Beyonce
79: What was the last concert you saw? NA
80: Hot tea or cold tea? Neither. Tea is nasty
81: Tea or coffee? Neither... again, nasty
82: Sugar or snickerdoodles? Sugar
83: Can you swim well? No
84: Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? Yes. I have to do it to stop sneezes.
85: Are you patient? Sometimes
86: DJ or band, at a wedding? DJ
87: Ever won a contest? No.
88: Ever have plastic surgery? No
89: Which are better black or green olives? Black is better baby.
90: Can you knit or crochet? No
91: Best room for a fireplace? Living room. But then again a bedroom one would be nice.
92: Do you want to get married? Yes... Have you SEEN my Pinterest? I'm glad they have secret boards now so people will stop taking my ideas!!lol
93: If married, how long have you been married?
94: Who was your HS crush? Oh wow! Let's see. Andrew Goodwin, Clint Farrell, Jeremy Roberts, uhhh... I think that's it. And that is in reverse order.
95: Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way? My fits are more mature and involve a lot of brooding and being hateful. But yeah.
96: Do you have kids? No
97: Do you want kids? Yes
98: Whats your favorite color? Black
99: Do you miss anyone right now? Robert. And No I not telling you which one.


Oh! Biggest pet- peeve: Guys that don't eat to stay in shape. I think that is just the stupidest thing EVER.

That is all,

Shaniqua

Inspiration Tuesday

I am an advocate for Pinterest. I love it. I love looking for new things. And now when I want to know how to do something I look it up on Pinterest. I must say, it's much easier than Googling it! I must say I have hundreds of pins now. So I am going to use them to my advantage.

A few weeks back I found this lovely outfit.

I instantly had to add it to my style board. I love the simple classic elegance that this outfit yields. The high waist shows off the small size of her stomach area and making her look like she has long legs. But not only that, paired with this simple top it looks easily do-able for the budget minded. It's like she just stepped out of a time capsule. I do plan on having an outfit like this in the future.

But I was looking at this photo and noticed something different. Her CLUTCH. I thought "Does that say Charlotte's Web"? So I went to the Google for a closer inspection. Lo and BEHOLD it does!!

Olympia Le-Tan collaborated with Charlotte Olympia in order to make this quirky piece. It actually came out in NY in September. I must say this is a really different piece and wouldn't mind having one myself. It puts a new twist on old favs: a clutch and the book!

Wear your invisible crowns,

Shaniqua