Inspiration Tuesday- The Beehive

Hello Lovies!!

So today we're looking at hair! I have been looking all over for a way to do a Beehive that is young and youthful. I don't want to look like the precious older sisters at my church after all. I mean I do love them but still...

So today's Inspiration comes from Rachel McAdam's Instyle Cover shoot. I originally came across this pin.

It was love at first sight. I mean it's high and messy but neat and it has a front swoop! Totally me!! Plus, I fell in love with the old Hollywood glam of the whole look. Can you say CHA-CHING?!?! So of course I had to investigate to find how the back looks and I came across several other photos.

But none of the back :(

And there are some more. But in the other photos it looks like they just put her hair up and let it fall as it willed as the day went on. Didn't really like that idea. But I do love Rachael. But I'm thinking that a good french twist in the back will work. So I'm gonna get my teasing comb and hairspray and get to practicing! Hopefully I'll have photos soon of the result.

Peace, Love and Happy Styling,

Shaniqua

Got 99 Problems and this quiz ain't one of them ;)

Today was supposed to be my weigh- in day. But I got up, left my house and when I got to my destination I remembered I didn't weigh. We'll try again for tomorrow. When that happens you will get an update on all that is going on in my Weight- loss world :)

So I saw these questions on another blog MONTHS ago and I was going to answer them but they have been sitting as a draft for a long time. So here goes. See how many answers you think are predictable.


1: Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? Closed. Seriously I will get out of bed and close one if I have to. Anywhere anytime.
2: Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel? No. My hair is too precious.
3: Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out? Both. But mostly tucked because I lay on my tummy with my toes hanging off the foot and if it is untucked my toes get cold and I can't sleep that way.lol
4: Have you ever stolen a street sign before? Uhhh. NO. Really. ??
5: Do you like to use post-it notes? LOVE THEM.
6: Do you cut out coupons but then never use them? haha! Yes.
7: Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees? Ummm... I think bees. A bear might kill you if he's angry enough. I want to live :)
8: Do you have freckles? A few
9: Do you always smile for pictures? Yes, though there are different smiles.
10: What is your biggest pet peeve? I'll get back to you on that...
11: Do you ever count your steps when you walk? pshhh.. Negative.

My sentiments EXACTLY!lol

12: Have you ever peed in the woods? haha. Of course... If you have been camping...
13: What about pooped in the woods? How is that possible? No.
14: Do you ever dance even if there's no music playing? haha! Yeah. All the time. When it's in your head you got to get the grove out.
15: Do you chew your pens and pencils? OMG Yes! It was really bad in school. Now. Not so much.
16: How many people have you slept with this week? Uhhh... None
17: What size is your bed? A Wueen I mean Queen.lol
18: What is your Song of the week? Diamonds/ Rhianna
19: Is it okay for guys to wear pink? Depends on the guy.
20: Do you still watch cartoons? No
21: Whats your least favorite movie? Don't have one.
22: Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some? It would be hidden if I told you then would it? The secret would be out and I'd have to find somewhere else to hide it. LAME. Again see the above photo.
23: What do you drink with dinner? Actually nothing. I can't drink anything 30 mins before/ after meals. But I drink mostly water now.
24: What do you dip a chicken nugget in? RANCH!
25: What is your favorite food? Now? Chicken. Any kind.
26: What movies could you watch over and over and still love? hmmm... The Notebook. Cry everytime.
27: Last person you kissed/kissed you? Never been kissed :(
28: Were you ever a boy/girl scout? Yes for like 1 year.
29: Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine? No. Not my style.
30: When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? Oh wow. Lemme see... I was passing notes with a friend in church back in September. Does that count?
31: Can you change the oil on a car? haha! No. That's what I have my Dad and Wal-Mart Auto center for.lol jk Love my daddy :)
32: Ever gotten a speeding ticket? haha. Have you seen me drive?
33: Ever ran out of gas? Yeah
34: Favorite kind of sandwich? Turkey and Bacon w/ lettuce, onion, banana peppers, mayo and black pepper.
35: Best thing to eat for breakfast? Food. Generally high in fiber.
36: What is your usual bedtime? Now 2 am.
37: Are you lazy? Depends on the situation.
38: When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween? Ummm... I was a witch one year but the makeup scared me so we had to take it off. Other than that. I don't think I was anything.
39: What is your Chinese astrological sign? Pisces
40: How many languages can you speak? 1- English
41: Do you have any magazine subscriptions? No
42: Which are better legos or lincoln logs? CLEARLY no contest. Legos
43: Are you stubborn? Ask Mom. idk.
44: Who is better...Leno or Letterman? ummm. I don't watch either.
45: Ever watch soap operas? No
46: Are you afraid of heights? Yes
47: Do you sing in the car? haha! Yes. One time I was so into this song a guy waved at me. Actually that happens all the time.
48: Do you sing in the shower? Yeah
49: Do you dance in the car? Yeah. I think that's why the dude waved. I was all hand motions and everything. He might have thought I was waving at him.
50: Ever used a gun? No
51: Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? Um.... Graduation from college. May 2012
52: Do you think musicals are cheesy? No
53: Is Christmas stressful? Yes
54: Ever eat a pierogi? What is that?
55: Favorite type of fruit pie? Apple with Ice cream. No cool whip crap. If you're gonna do it, do it first class!!
56: Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? Ummm... Singer
57: Do you believe in ghosts? Yes. The Holy Ghost. Can I get a AMEN?!
58: Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? Too much
59: Take a vitamin daily? Yes I have to since the surgery
60: Wear slippers? Yes. The hardwood is cold!
61: Wear a bath robe? No
62: What do you wear to bed? None of your business.
63: First concert? NA
64: Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? WALLY WORLD BABY!!
65: Nike or Adidas? Nike
66: Cheetos Or Fritos? Fritos
67: Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? Nuts
68: Ever hear of the group Tres Bien? Ummm.. No
69: Ever take dance lessons? Yes when I was little
70: Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? Ummm... Anything with him wearing a suit and tie. LOVE a man in a tailored suit and tie.
71: Can you curl your tongue? No
72: Ever won a spelling bee? No
73: Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Yes. Too many times.smh
74: Own any record albums? No
75: Own a record player? No
76: Regularly burn incense? No. Actually that's the thing. I don't like them because they make your house smell all smoky. So what's the point?
77: Ever been in love? I thought I was. Turns out... Nope.
78: Who would you like to see in concert? Honestly? Beyonce
79: What was the last concert you saw? NA
80: Hot tea or cold tea? Neither. Tea is nasty
81: Tea or coffee? Neither... again, nasty
82: Sugar or snickerdoodles? Sugar
83: Can you swim well? No
84: Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? Yes. I have to do it to stop sneezes.
85: Are you patient? Sometimes
86: DJ or band, at a wedding? DJ
87: Ever won a contest? No.
88: Ever have plastic surgery? No
89: Which are better black or green olives? Black is better baby.
90: Can you knit or crochet? No
91: Best room for a fireplace? Living room. But then again a bedroom one would be nice.
92: Do you want to get married? Yes... Have you SEEN my Pinterest? I'm glad they have secret boards now so people will stop taking my ideas!!lol
93: If married, how long have you been married?
94: Who was your HS crush? Oh wow! Let's see. Andrew Goodwin, Clint Farrell, Jeremy Roberts, uhhh... I think that's it. And that is in reverse order.
95: Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way? My fits are more mature and involve a lot of brooding and being hateful. But yeah.
96: Do you have kids? No
97: Do you want kids? Yes
98: Whats your favorite color? Black
99: Do you miss anyone right now? Robert. And No I not telling you which one.


Oh! Biggest pet- peeve: Guys that don't eat to stay in shape. I think that is just the stupidest thing EVER.

That is all,

Shaniqua

Inspiration Tuesday

I am an advocate for Pinterest. I love it. I love looking for new things. And now when I want to know how to do something I look it up on Pinterest. I must say, it's much easier than Googling it! I must say I have hundreds of pins now. So I am going to use them to my advantage.

A few weeks back I found this lovely outfit.

I instantly had to add it to my style board. I love the simple classic elegance that this outfit yields. The high waist shows off the small size of her stomach area and making her look like she has long legs. But not only that, paired with this simple top it looks easily do-able for the budget minded. It's like she just stepped out of a time capsule. I do plan on having an outfit like this in the future.

But I was looking at this photo and noticed something different. Her CLUTCH. I thought "Does that say Charlotte's Web"? So I went to the Google for a closer inspection. Lo and BEHOLD it does!!

Olympia Le-Tan collaborated with Charlotte Olympia in order to make this quirky piece. It actually came out in NY in September. I must say this is a really different piece and wouldn't mind having one myself. It puts a new twist on old favs: a clutch and the book!

Wear your invisible crowns,

Shaniqua

GASP!!! Gurrlll... SHUT YO MOUTH!

Oh No!! I did it again! I totally went off the blog-a-sphere for... Hold. Let me check.. (Plays Wheel-of-fortune theme song)

THREE (that's 3!!) MONTHS!!!

I am so sorry. But if you didn't know a lot has been going on!

(I was quite annoyed on this day because it was so HOT and so many people everywhere!)

First, I would like to Thank my Lord and Savior for getting me through the months of May and June. I am officially a college graduate! So exciting right? I KNOW!!! (insert histerical "EEEEEEEEEEEEE") I can't tell you how excited I was to get done and be stress free for a while. It was like 3 weeks of no stress LITERALLY! And yes only 3.

Then July 9, 2012 I had my surgery! That was a big accomplishment within itself. LET ME TELL YOU! People that say that this is the easy way out have NO CLUE what they are talking about so they can just shut-up now. Yes I said it. SHUT-UP!

(The Instagram photo of me one week after surgery)

I think part of the reason why I haven't blogged in a long time is because I didn't want this to be a sob story. I wanted this to be an encouragement to people that are thinking about making this big step. But the whole time I was a basket case. I mean really? How can you NOT be?? This was the first surgery that I had ever had in my life and I didn't know what to expect. My mom was all "You're going to be fine. It goes by so fast!" It did. But you know me I have the tendency to over analyzed EVERYTHING. So when the actual surgery was about to take place there was no extra meds for me they just knocked me out! When I woke up I was in lala land for a week and it was GREAT.

(And here I am 2 months after surgery :)

Now that I look back it would have been good to go ahead and get all of my emotions down on the blog so that I could remember it all. I remember thinking I would never get to eat again. Then being sad and angry because I couldn't eat. I remember thinking "YEAHHH!! I can eat!!". Then few weeks later going "Oh god!! I don't wanna eat!!" But all in all I cried, prayed, and pushed through it and I came out on the other end wanted to push some more.

I know! I know! You want to know the stats.

Ok. So before the surgery I lost 25 lbs. from my heaviest weight. After the surgery I have lost 35 lbs.
Sooooo... 25+ 35= 60 lbs!! Yes, my frands, That is 60 lbs total. But like many people who have had the surgery I have come to a stand still. But it's ok because I am going to keep pushing.

YOU just keep rooting me on. I will try my best to get a better camera so that I can take better pics :)

Thanks for all of your comments and encouragement over the last few months. It really has helped to keep it coming.

Love,

Shaniqua

Thank you Shannon,

Thank you love for reminders like this:

When friends like you remember how awesome life is it makes the journey worth traveling. And I plan on traveling it. Peace and Love.

Love,

Shaniqua

Love YOU but also LOVE YOUR BODY

There is a difference


Don't get it twisted... I LOVE ME (and my mom reminds me of it ALL the TIME!!lol) But I also love my body. Really, I do.


There is this idea in the BBW world that if you are big you will love your body no matter what. This in turn gives you the chance to eat what you want, not exercise, and live an unhealthy life. That mindset may love themselves as a person, it does NOT, however, love their body.


Yes, you should accept yourself for the way that you are. That is an internalized behavior and way of thinking. But the idea of love your BODY is an externalized behavior and way of thinking. You can love your personality and beliefs (internal) and have self-esteem issues (usually comes from externally not liking your body).


In loving your body most people can come up with a lot of good things that they like about it. For me it's my hair, my smile, and even my strength (My dad has given me the gift of great upper body strength :)) But with the good things you HAVE GOT to accept the bad. This includes a variety of things. Here are some of mine:


1.   I couldn't fit into the connected desk-chairs at school comfortable for the entire time I was in school from middle school to college.
2. I get short of breath when I walk from my car and into a building. No matter how far it is.
3. I have the "diabetus".
4. I have poor circulation in my ankles that makes he have blotches on my feet and ankles like old people.
*****And the list could go on and on.*****


"Ok Nikki. Since you are the expert, lay it on us!! So how do you love your body?"


What I am saying is I love my body enough to know that i have these things and I am trying to eliminate them. If that means losing 150- 200 lbs, then so be it! Losing weight isn't just about being "skinny" (OH GAWD!! There is that DREADFUL word.) It's about being healthy and active. Giving your body a fighting chance to function as it should. It's about making you all that it can be.


I will tell you something. It's hard. I'm only at the beginning but I am taking the necessary steps to get here. But I have so much more to give and so much life to live than to let my weight hold me back. THAT is how I love my body. Not by polluting it with sugars that slow down natural processes. THAT is how I love my body. There is no better love than that you show your body than when you make it up 2 flights of stairs, even if you are completely out of breath. I know for me that was the best feeling :) I'm tired to saying "If I was skinny I could do that" or "when I lose weight he's gonna WISH he gave me a chance because I'm a good catch". You're right I am a good catch and he is going to regret it, but I'm not going to be around him to see it. I'm going to love my BODY the way it needs to be loved. And if that means turning down the idiot that couldn't see how wonderful I am then... SO BE IT!!!lol


It's easy to internalize behavior but it is harder to externalize behavior.
Love YOU but also LOVE YOUR BODY.


Right now my inner Developmental Psychologist is doing a touchdown dance for this post.  See Dr. Cain, I got it ;)


How do you show your body that you love it??

Love , 

Shaniqua

Thankful Thursday :)

To Dr. Whitney Cain,

Thank You for 2 great years as my advisor and instructor. Your quirkiness has relieved my stress on many occasions that I didn't know if I was going to get through a paper, or even stay awake for a class.

You are TRUELY inspiring.

Much Love,

Shaniqua

Thankful Thursday :)

So I'm starting something on here that will help me keep things in perspective. It's called "Thankful Thursday". Yeah like you couldn't tell. Well... I figured I needed something to chronicle how I am thankful for the things I have NOW. So here goes...

Thank You fortune cookie from last night:

Thank you for reminding me in my moment of weakness of missing the wrong person that there are other "fishes" in the sea and my man will bite any minute now. Just be patient :)

Love,

Shaniqua

Awkward and Awesome Thursday :)

Sooo it's BACK!!! Check out how life has been lately ;)

Awkward

- Mr. Creepy McCreeperton laughing when I enter the room. Ummm... What are you laughing at?? Last time I checked you were CREEPY (and stinky but I digress).
- The constant tours that hare happening at N2N. People wanna see me work not sit all awkwardly in the corner with a red face (yes, I do turn red.lol)
- Editing someone's paper and looking over it going... "Did I just so all Dr. Witcher on it?? OMG I DID!!!"
- The moment I realized that I talk like a Developmental Psychologist. NOOOOOOO... I haven't graduated YET!!!!

Awesome

-FREE POPSICLE DAY AT N2N. Seriously, made my week. Dat's cray.
-Being told by Trin that I am sooooo mean, but she won't work with anyone else in homework lab :) Yes, my friends, it's the small victories that count.
- Looking at Vick's test thinking "I GOT DIS!!"
- In the words of Puck: "I have waited 5 years for this!!" #graduation2012 24 days and COUNTING!!! :)
- Being the new owner of the iPod Touch 4s. Yes yes!! :)

When I was little....

Oh my 'lanta!! Has it really been that long?? I am BEYOND sorry that I haven't been here with ya'll. But it's life. I'm busy. You're busy. We all are busy.


Progress: I actually have no clue how I am doing. I am keeping with the routine and eating healthy which is a good thing. So I saw a few posts of this going around the internets. I figured being I haven't been updating you on my progress that I could do this. So here goes :)


1. My parents told me… Honestly, I don’t have any clear memories of my parents telling me anything but they both showed me that no matter what happens in life you work for what you want and love and take care of your family in the process.

2. I wanted to grow up to be a… White girl. Seriously. For a while I thought it was possible. But then when I realized it wasn't I was over it.
3. I refused to eat… Well... I guess it should be DRINK... That would be Sweet Tea. In the south you know how that is not American. I'm still holding on to that refusal.

4. My favorite thing to do outside was… NOTHING! I am a total inside girl. But I did go out to play with my friends every now and then. Then we'd go back inside to play with Barbies.

5. I broke my… skin on my knee. I am VERY clumsy so it was nothing to skin my knee. My mom said that even one time I was standing at church and STILL ended up falling somehow. Still to this day if there is a puddle of water Nikki is going to find it.

6. I liked to wear… dresses. Even before my parents got in church I had the need to wear dresses everyday. Mom would have to MAKE me wear shorts and pants.

7. My parents always… Had us eat dinner together. Even when dad was home it was always together.

8. I thought that Santa was… My dad. There was never any confusion on who spent their hard earned money to make me happy.

9. My favorite cartoon was… Jam and the Holograms!!! I ask people now-a-days if they know that show and no one remembers it. I'm like HOW CAN'T you!! She could change clothes by just blinking!! (I think :/ lol) I even had a Jam doll for the longest time.

10. I was the… "Jersey Baby". From the time I could speak I was really proper and my parents couldn't understand why because they bother are so county.lol

11. I got in trouble when… I would talk back. I always had "a lot of mouth" as my mom would say. But honestly, look at who my PARENTS are!!!lol

12. My bedroom was… a room. When I was little I don't remember much about it but that it was there and I was on the front of the house. I had lots of toys.

13. My favorite food was… Chips. Really. That relationship is STILL going strong.

14. My parents always made me… Do my chores before going out with friends. Even in my teens I had to clean my room before spending the night with a friend.

15. My first crush was… Todd Parrott!!! I remember me and Holly being so in love with him. He was the cutest guy back then.  He was about 10 years older than me. When he got married it broke my heart.

16. My favorite toy was… BARBIEEEESSSS!!!!! There is no question of my loyalty in this situation.

17. I thought school was… What it was. Didn't love it, didn't hate it. Had a few friends but was still pretty well known. I'm finding that out now.lol

18. My biggest fear was… The Dark. Honest to God. So my room was on the front of the house. On the back side of the houses across the street in my neighborhood, there was trees then a baseball field. Sometimes they would leave the lights on and the trees would cast shadows on my windows. I hated those nights.

19. My favorite story was… The Little Mermaid. I watched that movie all the time. I'm noticing that a lot of the stuff that I loved had to do with music. 

20. My favorite memories… My daddy coming home on the weekends. He would come down the street in the big truck and I would hear him and run out to meet him. I was such a daddy's girl back then :)


*I use to HATE this pic. My aunt had the hugest copy of it in her living room for years. A total embarrassment.smh

I won't let you...

You can't just leave me.
Here.
Alone.
You can't stop playing the game.
No words.
Or expressions.

You can't just walk back in.
Cool.
Breezy.
You can't act like nothing.
Ever.
Happened.

Because you didn't.
care.
love.
Because you did.
walk.
ignore.

You can't walk back in.
Confident.
in my love.
Why you ask?
Ask ME.
Why?

Because I won't let you.

Awkward and Awesome Thursday!!

Awkward

- Going to sign up for cap and gowns. Umm.. YES. I am a big girl and YES I am graduating. Don't judge me just make my cap and gown please. Thank You!

- That awkward insecure moment when I say something stupid to SOS. Yeah... I have to stop doing that...

Awesome

- Seeing Punkin-Butt smile.

- Having cutie-pa-tooty at my house for 2 days this week.

- The nicknames that I give the little ones in my life bring back the years of my childhood when we all thought our names were peaches, boochie, and tinktink.lol

- Loosing another 5 lbs for a total of 14 lbs!! Yeahhh boiii!!!

- My new addiction to Pinterest. I'm pretty sure I have planned my whole wedding on there. Thanks Pinterest :)

* See more awesome's this week. How awesome is THAT??lol

Awkward and Awesome Thursday!!

*Small insecure moment: Am I important to you??

Awkward

1. Going to class only to have my teacher say "Have your speech??" and I totally don't know what she is talking about.
2. Talking to a classmate about carpooling to the graduate school seminar in town. So you don't want me to ride with you eh? That's ok. I just wanted to go alone anyway.
3. Getting the news that I missed taking ONE CLASS this semester.
4. Loosing my wallet. Not being able to find it all day. Can't pay my graduation application fee. Go to Durham to get money. Just about there... Find the wallet. NOOOOOOO!!!
5. Dear Gas Prices, don't you know it's an abomination to be $3.75/ gallon. But you IN-SIST on being high at this time in my life!!! #godownnow!!! Love always, Shaniqua

Awesome

1. Blasting through Valentine's Day without crying and hiding in my room. TAKE THAT ST. VALENTINE!!!
2. Getting the news that I could still graduate and take that last class over the summer.

* As you can see. More awkwards than awesome. Hopefully this week will be better. Have a good weekend everyone!! :)

Awkward and Awesome Thrusday!! :)

Awkward

- The moment when you realize this guy, you think is your little brother, likes you.
- The clarification conversation that follows that realization.
- My psychiatrist figuring out my shopping addiction. Then have her say that I am going to go through the most stressful time of my life and I need to find stress relief that doesn't involve calories or money.
- Having my mom be so concerned about my health and telling me about it frequently.
-Getting out of the car at Wal-Mart with this black dude walking towards you with a grin on his face. Yes ladies, even I run from them.lol





Awesome

- Finally walking an mile on the tredmill.
- Having a food prep day for the week and not have to worry about what I am going to have for lunch, where am I going to get the money to buy it, or how I'm going to fix it.
- Actually following the trends of Twitter. They really make me smile :)
- Getting props for the beginning changes that I have made to my life concerning health and fitness.
- Mom's concern about my health and telling me about it frequently. (Yes, this made this list too because even though it is awkward, I love it when she shows that she needs me as much as I need her. Love her.)
- Getting props from the Pastor at my internship. It's always good to hear of all the lives that you touch.

(photos: Kristina J: Aren't these cats GORGE??)

Love/ Hate Relationship...

This is probably going to be the most RANDOM post yet. Key word: YET. I will have a lot of random moments that you think come from nowhere but really they are all in my mind.


I walked a mile in less than 45 minutes today. Which for me and the shape I am in is a GREAT accomplishment! I am so excited but later I wasn't to happy about it....


Well...

I guess it's true what people say... You never know what you have until it's gone...

Dealing with the emotions...

Before I forget I would like to share that....

I LOST 3 LBS!!! For a grand total of... 9 LBS!!!! yayyy meeeeeeee!!!

SO exciting...

Ok. So if you follow me on the Twitter or even Facebook you will see that I have this desire to be in the gym. Right now. At 11:59 pm. I was just sitting here contemplating why this is so. I think I have actually worked out 4 times in the last 2 weeks and now I have this undeniable connection with the treadmill? 

Ummm... NO.

In all actuality, I feel restless. Helpless. Unwanted. Undesirable. Heartbroken. Let down. The list could go on and on.

All because of a Words with Friends game.

Well...  Not exactly the GAME, but the person I was playing with. See I was playing the game and it ended and there wasn't a request for a rematch.

So yeah... I have hinted at this guy RJ. Which, I probably shouldn't have mentioned him before but I'm going to talk about it  today. This is something that I need to face and I'm not going to be able to sleep till I do so here goes. This person came into my life about 5 years ago and the moment I met him I knew that this was going to be a hard one to shake. The reason why I said "one" is because I don't want to label it something and he see this and hate me even more for it. But anyway that faithful day I was shaken to the core by him and didn't know what to do about it. I mean COME ON!! I was 21 and never had  had a boyfriend before. How was I supposed to??

But anywhoo... On the way there were things that was said to me (idk if they said the same to him) by others, and somethings by him, and things said by me to him. All in all I ended up having feelings for him that I couldn't deal with. I didn't know how to. So I was immature and did it all the wrong way. Even now I still haven't learned and am trying to hang on to that one shred of hope that there could be something. 

There is nothing. Nothing else to say. Nothing else to do. If there really was something it would work. But it's not. I have cried, many times. I have cried from confusion, hurt, and even anger. I have cried so much that even now I have no tears just this anxiety of the uncertain future.

I wish there was a way I could undo what was said, felt and expressed. But the past is the past and there is no turning back now.

Awkward and Awesome Thursday!

Awkward:


-Me (being the studious person I am in the back of the classroom) raisibg my hand: "I have a question."
Cushman: "Ok. Go ahead."
Me: "Can everyone in my row move their desks up a bit. I'm feeling a bit claustrophobic."
Becky: "OMG really?? I thought you had a serious question."
Cushman: "Was I supposed to give an answer for that?"
Me: "No (smile). Only if you like."
(Crickets chirping) Cushman: "BACK to Classical Conditioning".
-Mom- sleeping in the recliner at the hospital. Me- laying on the bed. Doctor- walks in and looks at me "Mrs. Cates?" Ummmm... NOT me.lol
- Falling asleep in the middle of lecture WHILE Dr. Professor-who-shall-remail-nameless is looking you right in the face. "Can't help......"   "Huh? Yeah! Primates."
-Waling down the hall at the hospital trying NOT to make eye contact with the cute guy in scrubs. (GJG!!)
- Realising that I am in the stage where everyone is spending... NOT saving... I on the other hand am doing NEITHER :(




Awesome:


- Photo: That tub of shoes WILL be me one day. And I won't be afraid to say I have all of them either!!
- Punkin-Butt smiling at me for the first time in her 3 month old life. I love her to pieces!! ;)
- Seeing a buddy of mind in the hall at the hospital and him beaning because HIS WIFE just had a baby and he' s a new daddy (Yeah and he did puff his chest out a bit).
- Mom comes home, still drunk from anesthesia and I say "You're in SU CASA!!" and her face actually lights up for the first time in two days :)
- Having great frinds to text you, worried about your mom, and how YOU'RE holding up from the pressure of it all #1awesome ;)

Learning...

I'm learning to believe that I'm worth everything I want.

-Chelsea

Why not YOU?



I actually had someone ask me this a couple of years ago referring to this guy "RJ" (story to come later). I was having a hard time getting over him. It resonated in my mind for weeks. She didn't ask this many questions but she did ask "Why not Nikki? Why can't Nikki have love? What is she afraid of?" I think that was the first time I actually sat back and looked at how I was treating myself.

So I will ask YOU. WHY NOT YOU??

Blessings and Love,

Nikki

To whom it may concern...

I saw this on another blog and had to share it...

Those of you who know me know I struggle with this...
But this HIT me at my core... New meaning to life...

I'm not losing...

The Cat's out the bag now...

As you all can see I have started a new blog “The Journey of 1000 Scales”. I am really excited to get it started. The whole reason I have for this blog is so that I can show you my entire journey. Hopefully it will inspire others and get them started on their journey. But this is mine. It is going to take a lot of hard work and dedication. But I’m ready…

“WHAT IS THE SECRET!!???!?!?!” I can hear most of you now, yelling at me. Some have figured it out. Others have no clue. But now you all are going to know because I am going to tell you.lol

I am having Gastric Bypass…

There isn’t an actual date set. I wanted to delay this launch till then but ya’ll are so DOG GONE impatient!!lol Now I know some of you are thinking really? I mean where did this come from? Actually the first time I heard about it I was 16. The first person to give me info on this was Jennifer (Oliver) Bibb. I didn’t think that I wanted to do it then. I’m glad I didn’t because I was not ready. A lot of people have recommended that I have it and I turned my nose up because I didn’t want to do it.

Now I am ready. It is time for me to enjoy my life and I can’t live the way that I am. So I hope that all of you can support me in this decision. If you don’t, get over yourself or don’t talk to me because I don’t need any negativity right now. If you know me you know that whenever I try to lose weight I don’t like to talk about it. I want this to be an open book. I want to be made accountable for my actions and receive encouragement from the people that care about me. So follow me here and you will see where this is going.


You can also follow me on twitter and facebook


 http://twitter.com/blckblonde32512
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